Although we don’t always admit it, we all want to be liked. It’s not a bad thing; humans are social creatures that thrive on building genuine connections and relationships. We all want to be understood and loved for who we truly are.
However, some of us struggle in getting our authentic selves across to others. You might get stuck in the awkwardness that comes with meeting new people. You know that you have so much to offer the world, but have difficulty expressing what exactly makes you unique.
This is why developing people skills is crucial. Being charismatic is about authentically expressing your best qualities. Personability is a powerful tool in all social settings. You can make friends, win dates, and secure promotions if you are able to put your best foot forward. It builds the path to establishing genuine connections.
Developing charisma and likability takes practice. Here are 7 charismatic habits to be more likeable.
1. Be willing to laugh at yourself
Nobody is perfect, so there’s no point in pretending that you are. It makes us feel self-conscious when other people take themselves too seriously. While you might not want to draw attention to your flaws, doing so in a lighthearted way shows major confidence. When you are able to laugh at your own mistakes, other people feel more comfortable being themselves around you.
When poking fun at yourself, don’t joke about something that you are actually insecure about, because people will see right through your laughter. You also shouldn’t make yourself the butt of every joke. Instead, just take notice of the silly things that you do and see the humor in them.
2. Be the first one to try something
We often get so caught up in what other people are doing that we stop ourselves from breaking the status quo. Quit seeking permission from others and lead the pack. Be the first person to bust a move out on the empty dance floor. Be the first to crack a joke in a new group of people. Such acts put other people at ease and establish you as a leader. People will be grateful that you took a leap of faith in breaking the ice.
3. Establish platonic touch
Physical touch is a boundary we often hesitate to cross. But touch is a powerful way to deepen your connection with someone. We often associate touch with romantic relationships, but it can also be an important part of establishing friendships. Find little ways to touch people in a friendly manner, whether it be through a handshake, a tap on the arm, or a pat on the back. Show that you are open to establishing a bond with a person, and they will open up.
A word of caution: Boundaries should always be respected when establishing physical touch. Touch can get creepy if used inappropriately. In establishing a friendship, touch is best used with a person of the same gender and should stick to neutral areas such as the arm, hands, and upper back.
4. Genuinely smile
This sounds like the most obvious advice ever, but nothing is more inviting than a smile. It shows people that you are a friendly, open, and positive person to be around. Someone who constantly wears a stoic expression does not look like a fun person to strike up a conversation with.
That being said, fake smiles can be a total turn off. Practice finding the joy in things that will let your natural smile shine. As you look for things that genuinely make you happy, smiling will come more easily to you.
5. Eye contact
Eye contact is one of the best ways to maintain connection during a conversation. It shows others that they are the sole focus of your attention. Not only is it important to look at someone while they speak, but it is important to maintain eye contact when you are the one talking. Many of us look off into the distance when we talk. Take notice of when this happens, and direct your eyes back to the person you are speaking to. Don’t stare, but remember to maintain a couple of seconds of solid eye contact every once in a while.
If you are in a group of people, practice making eye contact with each individual in the group for around 3 seconds while you are speaking. This is a way to engage everyone in the conversation. Nothing screams confidence like being able to look people in the eye while you speak to them.
6. Shine the spotlight on someone else
Sometimes the best way to draw people to you is to direct the spotlight onto someone else. This could be someone who has been neglected in the conversation. If you are able to say “hey, what do you think about this?” you will make someone feel good by showing that you notice them. By making others feel good about themselves, you make them feel good about you. It shows a lot of security and confidence in not needing to always be the center of attention.
7. Remember people’s names
Nothing makes a person feel more special than when someone remembers their name. We sometimes get so caught up in how other people perceive us that we forget to actually listen to what other people are saying. The next time someone introduces themself to you, make the effort to remember their name. So how do you remember people’s names?
Remembering people’s names is much easier than we tell ourselves. One trick is to make a connection with someone else we know who has that same name, like associating a Jennifer that you meet with Jennifer Aniston. Another helpful trick is to repeat someone’s name after they introduce themselves. After learning their name, try to use that person’s name as often as possible in conversation when you are referring to them. People will recognize this effort and appreciate you as someone who takes the time to really listen to them.
Final thoughts
If you really want to be someone that people like to be around, be someone that makes others feel good about themselves. Stop worrying about how you are coming across in a conversation and instead focus on making sure the other person has a positive experience interacting with you. Interactions will become much more successful and rewarding when you approach them selflessly. If you have any men’s health questions, reach out to us at Viking Man.
